This time of year, people talk a lot about “being present.”
They post quiet winter scenes.
They talk about slowing down, cherishing moments, savoring connection.
They remind each other to breathe, reflect, and be mindful.
But for many physicians, December feels like the opposite of presence.
Your mind is scattered.
Your body is tired.
You’re physically in the room, but not fully in yourself.
You’re thinking about coverage, holiday surges, respiratory season, consults, the pager, the inbox—always the inbox.
And somewhere inside, a familiar guilt rises:
“Why can’t I just be here? Why can’t I feel this moment?”
It’s not because you’re ungrateful.
And it’s not because you’re disconnected by choice.
It’s because presence is a physiological state, not a moral achievement.
And your physiology has been running on survival mode for years.
When Your Body Stops Letting You Feel “Here”
Presence isn’t a mindset.
It’s a nervous system function.
You need a calm-enough baseline to notice:
your child’s face
your partner’s voice
your own breath
the taste of food
the fact that you’re safe
Physicians often lose access to this because:
- your sympathetic system runs hot
- rest feels foreign
- stillness triggers vigilance
- your mind stays three steps ahead of everything
- your body has learned that “here” isn’t always safe
After enough years like this, presence becomes something you intellectually value but physically can’t reach.
This is one of the most common things physicians tell me:
“I’m home, but I’m not here.”
“My body is still at the hospital.”
“My brain doesn’t know how to turn off.”
That’s not a failure of mindfulness.
It’s a sign that your nervous system is overdue for integration.
Dissociation in Physicians Is Subtle — And Functional
Most people imagine dissociation as spacing out or leaving the body.
But physicians often dissociate upwards into cognition.
You stay sharp.
Alert.
Attuned to risk.
Half in your body, half in the next potential crisis.
This kept you alive during training.
It kept your patients alive.
It made you efficient, capable, steady.
But long-term, that same adaptation blunts presence:
- conversations feel dim
- joy feels muted
- you laugh, but don’t feel it in your chest
- touch doesn’t land
- time moves, but you don’t feel connected to it
This is not a psychological flaw.
It is a brilliant survival adaptation that never got turned off.
Presence Returns When the Body Stops Bracing
You cannot force presence any more than you can force sleep.
Presence happens when the body feels safe enough to stop scanning.
And this is where many physicians feel stuck:
they know they’re safe,
but they don’t feel safe.
That’s the gap EMDR closes.
EMDR helps the brain complete the stress responses that were interrupted during years of medical training, impossible shifts, traumatic patient encounters, or sudden losses you never had time to grieve.
A 2023 Frontiers in Psychology review found that EMDR significantly reduces hypervigilance, improves emotional engagement, and restores “here-and-now capacity” in healthcare workers within just a few sessions.
In plain terms:
EMDR gives you back access to your own life.
Why EMDR Intensives Work Especially Well in December
For physicians, December is a dangerous mix:
- holiday surges
- short-staffed units
- family expectations
- moral injury fatigue
- pressure to “be cheerful”
- cumulative losses from the year
Weekly therapy often can’t penetrate that level of load.
But EMDR Intensives can.
Three to five half-day sessions give your nervous system the uninterrupted time it needs to:
- discharge what’s been stored
- stop replaying unprocessed moments
- reconnect to your internal sense of safety
- restore presence without forcing it
Physicians often tell me after an intensive:
“I didn’t know I was missing this much until I got it back.”
“I can actually feel myself again.”
“I’m not bracing for the next thing every second.”
This isn’t luxury.
This is medicine.
If Presence Feels Hard Right Now
You are not alone.
And nothing is wrong with you.
This time of year asks for a kind of internal spaciousness that physicians haven’t been given the conditions to access.
But presence is not lost forever.
It is waiting for your body to feel safe enough to allow it to return.
If you’re ready to reclaim it:
🩵 Schedule a confidential Strategy Call
https://clearblueskytherapyconsulting.com/page/eim-book-a-strategy-session
Your presence matters.
To your patients, yes.
But even more—to you and the people who love you.
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